Am I a “Mystic”

I don’t know.

It seems like such a dirty word.  It is in some circles, I guess.

Perhaps I’m a closet “mystic”.  I do love authors who’ve been labeled mystical:  Andrew Murray and H. W. Smith and I am really enjoying Kierkegaard lately, too.  I absolutely FEAST on Michael Card (I’ve heard him accused of being “mystic-like”).  Mind you, I don’t swallow everything I chew on… but I do like to chew on the good stuff!

I like to read (though I long for MORE time for it)!  “A book is the only place in which you can examine a fragile thought without breaking it, or explore an explosive idea without fear it will go off in your face.  It is one of the few havens remaining where a man’s mind can get both provocation and privacy.”  That’s what Edward P. Morgan said, anyway.  And I’ve also read, “If you resist reading what you disagree with, how will you ever acquire deeper insights into what you believe?  The things most worth reading are precisely those that challenge our convictions. ”  And I love to read “old stuff”… part of that love comes from C.S. Lewis’ preface in Athanasius’ On the Incarnation (I wish I knew Greek… I can’t help thinking the experience of THAT book might be even more fun!)  I ramble.

Back to my topic.  Am I a *gulp* mystic?

I hate labels.  I’m NOT a Calvinist.  I’m a CHRISTIAN.  If Calvin lines up with the Word, groovy!  But I’m not a Calvinist.  Christ alone atoned for my sin.  John Calvin didn’t do a thing to make me right with God.  So… mystic?  I say, emphatically, CHRISTIAN!

Still… I’m called a Calvinist by many (while I cringe)… and now I’m wondering if I love the “mystics” too much…

Anthony de Mello (a Jesuit priest and psychotherapist … and a labeled mystic) said that, “theology is the art of listening to and telling stories about the divine and that mysticism is the art of tasting and feeling in your heart the inner meaning of such stories to the point that they transform you.”  I don’t just want to listen and regurgitate, I want to be TRANSFORMED… but perhaps that is not a proper definition (denotation) of mysticism… who knows?  I don’t.  I’m a novice.  Perhaps I’ll have time to REALLY research the issue when my kids are a bit more self-sufficient and I’ve not got so much on my plate.  I just know that I want to be like Christ.    I want HIM to be “revealed in me”!

I do find that my flesh is more recognizable than it used to be and that the Spirit in me is, too!  I find that as I grow in “grace and knowledge” recognizing the battle is easier.  And in recognizing the battle, I am able to more readily remember all (armor and weapons) that my God has outfitted  me with (and I’m more quick to recall that the war has already been won by Him).

Perhaps I am not an “arrived” mystic?!?  I still struggle.  Terribly.  Last night and today, in fact (honestly, EVERY stinkin’ day!)! But a specific:  I let the sun go down on my very sinful, very selfish anger.  I KNEW that my flesh was wreaking havoc and it made me (the REAL, TRUE, Christ-Loving, Spirit-Filled me) MISERABLE!  It ruined my night AND my day…  The Spirit in me kept preaching and my flesh kept blowing raspberries, digging in her heels, being snide and arrogant, and haughty… .   Ugh!  I’m happy to report that God, in His mercy, made me nothing and Himself EVERYTHING and my desire for Him reigned.  I don’t know… now I’m distracted and the room is full of talking/playing/rambunctious hungry people… perhaps I’ll have to re-visit this topic later.

All that rambling to say: The flesh is bad… and pretty strong… but the Spirit is much more noticeable/accessible/apt to step in and conquer than when I first believed.  It isn’t EASIER… but it IS easier… in a weird way…

*sigh*

I don’t know.

I just want Christ to be revealed in me.

If only one had time to read a little more:  we either get shallow & broad or narrow and deep.
~C.S. Lewis

©PortCityPrincess 2009
All Rights Reserved

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1 Comment

Filed under Mysticism

One response to “Am I a “Mystic”

  1. Wendy Weido

    Oh my dear Tina – that blessed me and I thank God for giving the words to you to post here…especially the last paragraph.

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